Thursday, 16 February 2012

Remember; no matter how good she looks, someone.. somewhere, is sick of her SHIT.

Okkkk, this is gonna be aimed at most teenage girls my age probably. Purely because I feel so strongly about this subject having been bullied so many times and being made to feel like I was such an outcast for no real reason. The quote in the title literally explains it all.
    The first time I was bullied was actually by someone who I thought for a long time was my friend.. I was only about hmm, 6 or 7 at the time so it wasn't quite the 'emotional' type of bullying. I had a few friends that were girls, and we'd have tiffs, like most normal girls at that age.. but I had one particular friend who was a boy.. he wasn't a 'boyfriend' he was literally a 'boy *space* friend. I remember having so much fun, making secret dens and pretending to be spies etc etc.. but eventually, he just turned into a really troubled, disruptive, agressive boy and I was obviously his number 1 target -_- I went to the teachers and did the sensible thing, but the way it was dealt with was just ridiculous. He never got punished for it because 'they didn't see it' or 'he's usually a good boy'.. but I ended up having to move to a different Primary School in the end and I actually made so many more friends there! And, it was a MUCH better school to say the least.
    I didn't get bullied again til I hit Secondary School.. the first year there was a bit of a breeze, didn't really know many of the new people or mingle with new people, just stuck to who and what I knew I suppose! But by the second year when the classes finally got streamed into what you're ability was, and having classes with people you'd never really spoken to or knew before, was when things got a bit rocky for me. Again, I had plenty of friends.. I was in no way 'popular' but I had a lovely group of friends, boys and girls, which I loved :) then I started to mingle with a few more girls and that's where it got messy. Maybe it's just me? Maybe I just wasn't one to get involved with gossip and rumours? These are questions I'll never know the answer to, but having gotten quite close to these few girls I found myself slowly slipping into situations where I ended up being the root of a rumour or a lie.. and practically becoming a real bitch, to be honest. Not starting rumours, but being the person that the rumour was always about.. something I'd done or said which wasn't true. Quite frankly, this wasn't me at all.. I'm not that type of girl.
    ...Then after months of this, I'd started to seperate myself from these girls as I knew they were clearly bad news. I tried and go back to how things were before.. but as you can imagine, this caused a whole new load of problems, arguments, harrassment over the internet, texts, back-stabbing plans.. you name it! It got so bad that my confidence had literally hit rock bottom. I felt like I had no one. I still had my circle of friends, but it didn't feel like it at all. I'd devoted so much time with these girls, trying to be 'grown up' like them and trying to act & look like them that I'd lost touch with who I actually was... I stopped going to school because it was just so unbearable waking up and thinking, have I really got to go and face people at school who now think I've done this, or done that.. because some silly girls have started yet another rumour.. And yet everyone remained their friends, thinking they were telling the truth, and there was me sitting at home crying my eyes out feeling like I just wasn't good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough blah blah blah.
    The police got involved as the internet harassment was getting way too OTT and that put an end to it all and they never looked me in the eye again. I wish it hadn't of gotten so bad, but it did and it made me a stronger person, because I know what it feels like to be the girl that everyone talks about in a bad way. The rumours to this day almost 2 1/2 years later still haunt me.. some people still think they're true. It takes one to know one though right?! It's taught me nothing but to really just not give two shits what anyone thinks! Just be yourself. Because there's no one else quite like you. Girls will always be bitchy. Fact. Even the nicest girls. But girls who live their life constantly being that way everyday are the girls that wont end up having a happy life. That's the best revenge of all you know, happiness.. nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good f'ing life! (sorry about the naughty word!)
    It really makes me realise just how much of a better, stronger person I am because of what they did to me. Although it wasn't nice, I've come out the other side, and those girls are still the same way. There is nothing they can do to me now, that's worse than what I've already been through. I actually to an extent feel sorry for them. The fact that their life consists of nothing but being 'popular' and revolving around rumours and gossip.
     I pray that no one ever has to go through things like this, but unfortunatley, it happens all the time.. that's just society now. I'm only 15, so it probably isn't going to get any easier any time soon.. but I know the tricks of the trade now, I get how it all works & I can use that to my advantage! Sorry this was a wordy post, but I really just wanted to get it out there!
Thankyou for reading it, if you're not already asleep by now ;)
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee! xo


  1. this post meant so so much to me, I went through a really bad time too about a year ago:( luckily I've got my lovely friends now, but this helped me see what happened in a different light:) thanks:)xo

  2. awww! I'm really glad it helped you! That's exactly the message I wanted to get across, for people who have been bullied to see things in a better way! No problem, love your blog!! xx

    1. thanks, it really did!:) yeah definitely, I might be brave enough to do a post like this one day:) and thanks muchly for following- I love your blog too!:)xxx