Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

What is CFS?
 Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) is a debilitating disorder characterized by extreme fatigue or tiredness that doesn’t go away with rest and can’t be explained by an underlying medical condition. CFS can also be referred to as myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) or systemic exertion intolerance disease (SEID).
(https://www.healthline.com/health/chronic-fatigue-syndrome)

So, what's it like?
I am tired, all the time. Think of a time where you've been felt absolutely whacked, maybe you'd been on a day out or travelling somewhere for a long time? Normally you would only feel like this every so often and it may take a day or so to recover, but imagine feeling like it all the time, and it just becoming normal?
I get bruises everywhere, all the time, for no reason. I'll wake up and my legs will look like I've been attacked! I can grab my arm and within a few hours have finger print shaped bruises, and it doesn't look great.
I am really sensitive to temperature change, especially the cold. If the air conditioning is on at work, I will sit there in my coat shivering whilst everyone else is a comfortable temperature.
Loud, sharp noises hurt me. You know when you hear a loud bang and it makes you jump, just like that but to the point where it physically hurts!
I catch just about every bug/virus going. If there's something going about, I'm going to get it. Oh and any recovery time from these illnesses is doubled.
The worst by far has to be the joint/muscle pain. I've always got some form of a bad back, my legs always feel like I've run a marathon.
Some days just feel impossible, when you feel so rubbish physically, it affects you mentally too.

Diagnosis
CFS is something Doctors are all too reluctant to diagnose, but they have their reasons. It's a long drawn out process of elimation. They have to be sure the symptoms aren't part of any other potential conditions before they can diagnose CFS. There are thousands of things the symptoms of CFS could also relate to so it can be a difficult, frustrating process not just for yourself but for the medical professionals as the responsibility falls on them to tell you what's wrong with you! During the process I've discovered I am deficient in Vitamin D, and probably other things we cant put our fingers on just yet too! But that as a whole isn't the answer to everything. So as time goes on, the more you find/don't find the more complex it becomes.

 Treatment
Unfortunately, there isn't really much as far as treatment goes for CFS. It is all about management and making sensible decisions and learning to adapt your life to living with it. It's something I've already had to learn to do with my epilepsy, but this is whole different kettle of fish. This can't be controlled with medication. Instead its gradual, specialised exercise plans and therapy. I've had enough therapy in my life, and quite frankly sometimes the thought of exercising with the pain I get is devastating, but then I sound like I don't want to help myself, right? Feels like a never ending battle. I refuse to take painkillers every day and constantly feel like a zombie but sometimes that's the only way to get through the shifts at work.

Management
I've become so good at putting on a brave face, sometimes you wouldn't even know half of the above was going on unless I moaned about it. Apart from the fact I sleep, a lot. In all honesty I don't manage this well at all. I'm in denial and try to think I can be like everyone else when in reality that just isn't the case. I'll have a wild weekend and stay up late, maybe even go out on Saturday night and do something Sunday during the day. Sounds normal doesn't it? Reality is I'll be suffering the consequences until at least Wednesday.
The biggest problem with CFS is people are so ignorant towards it, you cant see that someone is suffering from it so from the outside they look perfectly normal. I for example would seem fine to anyone else, I live a seemingly normal life, I go out when I want to, I go to work etc. But the consequences I deal with as a result of trying as hard as possible to just be normal are so overwhelming. There are some days where I'm too exhausted to get out of bed, to function and to go to work. I'[m so scared of losing friends I refuse to let it get in the way of things I want to do, but ultimately I suffer as a result. I refuse to cancel on plans with a friend because I'm too tired, so I'll go out with that friend, and feel horrendous after.




I'm such a stubborn person, most of the time I persevere and carry on like nothing's wrong. I'll do everything I want/need to do and just take the hit. I fear that this way of life for me won't last for long though if I don't find better ways of management. I'm probably just making myself worse, not allowing my body/mind the time it needs to recover, which although hard for me to accept, is a lot longer than most. The truth is, I feel shit most days but just push through it.

I am still researching and learning lots everyday about CFS and some days are better than others. On my good days I push myself and then the not so bad days turn into impossible days... it's unhealthy but my thought process ends up being 'today is a good day and I must not waste it'.

Do you want to know something?

This time I thought I'd write a post that included some photos and a little more about me  :-)

Whilst I'm all about being 100% honest, there are some things that are kept private obviously as this is the Internet, and if anyone knows about privacy on the Internet and what it can lead to, it's me.

So here goes...
If you didn't already know what I look like (which if you'd checked out my Instagram, you would. Go and have a look, it's a beautiful place. I love Instagram!) here's a picture!

Admittedly I was just slightly skinnier in this photo, ha! And maybe my hair is a different colour but hey, this was June alright! Close enough for me! 

I'm 18 years of age and am 5ft 4inches there abouts, so basically, short. 

No one cares about what I weigh and that's just a little too personal, but for the record, I weigh just a little more than I should right now, whoops tee hee. (Granted, I am doing something about this.)

People say I look a bit Hispanic but I am 100% as British as British can get. More specifically, half of me is Leicestershire and the other half Somerset, but born and raised in Warwickshire. That's not even the correct way of explaining that, I know. Be proud of your heritage. Lol.

My favourite thing to eat is anything that makes you gain weight. Not by choice unfortunately. That's just how I was blessed. This is a strictly 'no thigh gap and all stretchmarks zone' ok? Just kidding. Embrace that thigh gap and flawless skin!

Oh and I forgot to mention cellulite didn't I?... We'll all get it ladies!

I won't continue with favourite food because we'll be here all day.

Favourite Music? I have such an eclectic taste that again we'd be here all day. I briefly mentioned music in a post years ago and not much has changed. Pretty much anything. Except rubbish pop crap... alright the occasional Nick Jonas song fair enough... 

My favourite alcoholic beverage is Malibu and Coke, just if you ever decide to buy me a drink ;-)

Favourite colour is purple.

Flower? Lotus. Completely unnecessary but I'm struggling here.

Favourite place I've visited so far? I haven't been to many places but abroad I think the Canary Islands are beautiful. Here in good old England, well I think London is a pretty fab place if I'm honest.

Allergies? Pretty much everything.

Work? I'm an Apprentice Office Administrator studying an NVQ Business and Administration qualification (which sounds way more complicated than it is, I'm not bigging it up). Also, I'm a bar maid, which I enjoy very much :-)

Disabilities? Eczema, Epilepsy, Anxiety, Asthma. That's in order of most annoying. Eczema being most annoying.

Favourite thing to say? No. Ha! That's a hard question actually because I talk a lot... evidently.

First word? 'Wu-wu' (meaning windmill).

Are you religious? No - but if I chose to follow one, it would be Buddhism.

Any tattoos? Yes, two (see pictures below) ;-) 

Peircings? Yep, 4 on my ears and my belly button!

Obvious question, favourite Disney film? Pocahontas! Or Scooby-Doo but that's not Disney is it? Lol.

Lastly, my favourite animal? GIRAFFES. You'll soon learn this about me but they are pretty much my life. 

Now after all that I'll just bombard you with a few photos and captions just to end the post :-)

I don't always get this drunk, this time was exceptional, I promise...

I didn't want to post too many photos of my family or friends just yet as this is an extremely public place and as I've decided to have no controls over who can view this blog (for justified reasons) I don't feel it's fair to post pictures of them without their consent. I'm sure anyone reading this is decent enough to respect privacy. I'm not saying never, but just for now, since this time around I have shared my blog on my Facebook to encourage friends and family to read it :-)

Happy reading! :-)

A fresh start...

For the last couple of weeks I've been wanting to write all my thoughts, feelings and opinions down because they spend so long circling around in my head that sometimes it all just gets a bit too much. So I thought, I'm going to start a blog. However I completely forgot that I have in fact already have a blog, with just 5 followers (boo!) and 10 posts (what?). I decided to read each individual post and it took me on a very strange trip along memory lane. All of these posts were back in 2012 and I was fifteen coming up to sixteen and it was so weird looking back at how much me and my life had changed. I was full of mixed emotions, some things I wrote made me laugh and some made me sad because now, being 18, I wish I could go back to the times where my biggest worry was friends and/or boyfriends falling out with me!

So the next question was, do I keep or delete these 10 old posts? And the answer is, keep them Lisa. I shouldn't be ashamed of what I thought and felt back then and how I wrote 'lol' at the end of every sentence. I want to leave them up as a comparison to my new posts so I can look back and realise how much I've grown as a person and to remind myself that I should be proud of how far I've come, even if I might not be exactly where I want to be just yet.

I'll use this as my space to write about things I enjoy and am passionate about, whether it be nail polish, or self-esteem, or life, or books or whatever! But most importantly of all, I'm not going to care what anyone thinks about it. I've realised I spend way too much time caring what people think and I'm gradually learning to care less and less. It does make life a little easier. I invite everyone to read and share their thoughts on anything they relate too, just because I really do enjoy hearing what other people believe and feel about certain topics. Even if this blog goes nowhere and it's literally me just talking to myself, I don't mind that either. I was always told talking to yourself is a sign of madness, and it's true, and I like being mad. You might already know me and you've come here from Facebook or whatever and you might find out that there's more to me than you thought! Then on the other hand, you might not know me at all and just want to have a read. Whilst being quite strange, I am just you're average 18 year old girl in a lot of ways, most of the blogs I read are probably ones you read yourself or have definitely heard of. In fact, a lot of them have YouTube channels too, which is something I've debated, but I'm just not that brave!

Right then! After that ridiculously long introduction, if you're still here reading then that's cool, thanks!
Since posting last I have aged 3 years, grown 0 inches, gained approximately 3 stones (guys I'm not holding back, honesty is what I'm all about *dances*), died my hair multiple times, inked my skin twice, had braces put on and removed, had 1 new piercing, been in and out of hospital twice, tried lots of medications, been drunk way too many times, had 1 boyfriend, joined and left 2 colleges, started a new apprenticeship and had 3 epileptic fits (I think). I probably missed out a hell of a lot of things there but I don't want to bore you and they are the most prominent things that spring to mind. I did purposely miss out some depressing crap, I promise, I am trying to keep this slightly light hearted!

I am so blessed in life sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve everyone and everything that I have. However, some days, regardless of that, it feels almost impossible to get out of bed. I know I'm not alone with that, and if you're reading and you feel this some days too, remember you're not alone either. You know when it just feels like everyone is progressing with their life and getting somewhere, moving onto bigger and better things and you feel as though you're just stuck is this rut watching it all go by? Yeah, I feel that a lot. Then I have to remember that just because I'm feeling that way, doesn't mean that's how it actually is, because usually, it's not. I have a job, an amazing family, the perfect boyfriend and a hell of a lot to look forward too. I guess it just feels like the things I'm looking forward too are taking a long time to come around. "Remember, even the hardest days only have 24 hours" - can't remember who the hell said that quote but who cares? I have to remind myself a lot that although from the outside to some people that know me I can appear weak and vulnerable, inside I am one of the strongest people I know. Of course, there is always someone worse off than you but some of the things I've been through and witnessed are not for the faint-hearted. You should never judge someone until you've walked in their shoes.

Whilst what I do for a living isn't exactly my dream job, I mean how many people can say theirs is too? What I really want to do is help people, the only way I can think of doing that is using this blog as a platform for raising awareness on lots of different issues and I hope to build up a following of mainly teenagers so I can share my experiences and give advice. Of course there's probably lots of other ways of doing this, and I am looking into those as and when time allows. Some people will want to read and some people will laugh in my face - but it's not like I'm not used to that, believe me. If it helps just one person and I've still got just 5 followers in 6 months time then that's enough for me. Not every post will be word heavy like this one, some will be about completely random things too, and full of pictures.

If I've not bored you enough already and you've managed to stick around for the whole post, thankyou! :-) I hope you read again sometime? I'm not perfect but I think that's the beauty of it and I don't see anything wrong with doing what I'm doing... that's what blogs are for aren't they?! Sharing ideas and information and lots of fun things :-)
In the meantime, why not follow my Instagram? ...

Happy reading!

Gonna make this my year...

   I am feeling in an absolutley immense mood right now. No words can describe how 'on top of the world' I am feeling. Not in an over-confident type way, just a proud, positive and motivated type way. Lots of things have happened in the last 2 weeks that have had major changes to my attitude towards so many things! It's amazing how in such a short space of time, your life can turn around! If anyone knows this, it's me, but usually it's because of a bad thing, not a good thing. If you don't already know, I'm 15 and in year 10 at school.. but for the whole of year 9 I was out of school because of a problem which I'll do another post about if anyones interested, but basically in a nutshell I found myself in a terrible situation with a pedophile on the internet.. not sure if I've already mentioned this? But never mind, anyway.. yeah I had to have home tutoring, and only studied core subjects (Science, English & Maths) and this week was my first week back at school as a normal student. I must admit, it does feel a bit weird, but it has opened my eyes SO much on how many things I took for granted about being at school! I know most people find that school drags, it's not always fun etc. But honestly, once you have been away for such a long time, and been so 'out of the loop' and not had much of a social life because of it, when you go back it's like, boy, I have realllllly missed all of this! Even the hustle and bustle of lesson change I missed!
   So I've decided that this year, I'm gonna make it my year! I turn 16 in September, I have exams, holidays, other exciting birthdays like my little sister turning 2! Moving house hopefully! So many amazing things and I just wanna live for the moment and really let my hair down! I think it's well earnt and deserved considering the amount of crap I've had to deal with the last 2 years and it's given me a real buzz of motivation to just try my best in everything I do! I've learnt that you don't always need other people to be happy, learning to be happy in your own company is such a wonderful thing to learn. A hard lesson to learn no doubt, but once you can do it, there's really no reason why you can't achieve anything you want!
   It all sounds rather Cliché doesn't it? I'm usually not the type to say silly stuff like that, so the fact that I'm writing all this down now must mean something, lol! If you are my age, don't you always hear your parents or other adults tell you that the years whilst your at school, college or whatever, will be the best years of your life, and you're only young once? They are SO right! I don't wanna look back on these years when I'm 30 and think, ah I wish I'd done this, or I wish I'd done that! You know? Yes everyone comes across obstacles in life, but no matter what it is, you have to find a way around it, you will always get beyond it. Everyone has inner strength no matter how weak you feel. Believe me!
   Never, ever take loved ones for granted. Friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, they might all come and go and so really it all comes down to your family!
  Sorry if anyone found this really boring, and if you read it all the way through, thankyou! Haha!

Dealing with a heart that I didn't break...

I have had the worst weekend to date. Nothing sucks more than having a broken heart does it? But the reality of it is, everyone ends up with one at some point right? Even if you don't choose to be in a relationship in your teens, it still ends up happening when you're older at some point I'm sure. Even if it's not because of a relationship either, it could be anything that causes love loss?
I don't want to go into detail about it all because it's just not worth it, but instead I'm gonna turn this negative experience into a positive one and try and get out there what I've learnt from it all... I'm the type of person that when I go into a new relationship I put my whole heart into it, and yes most of the time it's a bad thing I admit, but in the long run if I do ever meet that 'Mr Right' (which I'm definatley not concerned about at my age by the way) will be a good thing.  I am 100% faithful to that person, I'm honest and caring but unfortunatley that still isn't good enough for some.
"If it's meant to be, it will be." - That quote is so important and I think every girl at my age who goes through the kind of thing I am at the moment should think about that! At the end of the day, we're teenagers and yeah 'High School Sweethearts' is all very nice but it doesn't happen a lot nowadays. Since sex became easier to get, love became harder to find. Fact. I also think the internet plays a HUGE part too, people talk too much on the internet, they know what people are up too 24/7 and years ago it never used to be like that at all, and funnily enough the couples that were together then I bet most of them are still together now!
It is devastating when you break up with someone who you had such strong feelings for and the only way of moving on is sticking with your family and friends and just really trying carrying on as normal. I know how hard this is believe me, but it does work. You're still you, all of your amazing qualities are still there! Everyone has to give theirselves a few days to grieve but there's nothing wrong with that! "If you love someone let them go, because if they really loved you too, they'd come back." At our age, relationships shouldn't be the 'be all and end all of life', the world is our oyster and we've got so much to look forward to! Do not let a boy get in the way of that, there's what like 7 billion people in the world! :)
I hope some of you found this helpful or interesting, nothing like a bit of venting!
Thankyou so much for following!
Lisa xo

Conversations with my 13 year old self...

    If you like P!NK, you'll probably love the title to this post :P I used to listen to this song all the time when I was going through a rough patch when I was 13/14.
    Ok, so I can't speak for other people but personally, being a teenager has been rough for me. And when I say rough, I mean, rough. To be honest, things have brightened up now.. It's still hard yeah, but easier than it was before for sure. I am only 15 so I've still got sooo much growing up to do! Actually, growing up seems so exciting now, where as before I didn't want to grow up at all, the thought scared me..
    There are so many life lessons I have learnt already though and I enjoy learning new ones every single day!! but from what I've been through there's one that sticks out today...
    Everyone meets new people in their life, some stick around, and some don't. The ones that don't stick around end up making us feel really shit, right?  Make us think things like, what did I do? Why don't they like me? Why don't they seem to want to talk anymore? Is there something wrong with me? Are they avoiding me?.. There was times I used to sit there and think all of these things for hours on end, mentally draining myself as to why some people had just walked into my life and made me so happy, then just walked straight back out again like it was some walk-in clinic. Girls, but boys especially. I never intended having boys walk in and out of my life, but truth is, that's what happened. 'Hindsight is a wonderful thing' and looking back I wish I hadn't have fought so hard to keep up a relationship with people who just weren't bothered.
    If anything I've just learnt that if someone chooses to walk out of your life, let them. There's no use in wasting time on people who are just going to leave you, and what you make of yourself and your future is no longer tied to them.. Yeah, you might miss them, but always remember that you weren't the one that gave up!!! I'm not the type of person who gives up on people, if I'm going to meet someone new, and get involved with them I don't just tag along for awhile and leave when I get bored. To me that's just not how friendships and relationships are supposed to work..

   

Remember; no matter how good she looks, someone.. somewhere, is sick of her SHIT.

Okkkk, this is gonna be aimed at most teenage girls my age probably. Purely because I feel so strongly about this subject having been bullied so many times and being made to feel like I was such an outcast for no real reason. The quote in the title literally explains it all.
    The first time I was bullied was actually by someone who I thought for a long time was my friend.. I was only about hmm, 6 or 7 at the time so it wasn't quite the 'emotional' type of bullying. I had a few friends that were girls, and we'd have tiffs, like most normal girls at that age.. but I had one particular friend who was a boy.. he wasn't a 'boyfriend' he was literally a 'boy *space* friend. I remember having so much fun, making secret dens and pretending to be spies etc etc.. but eventually, he just turned into a really troubled, disruptive, agressive boy and I was obviously his number 1 target -_- I went to the teachers and did the sensible thing, but the way it was dealt with was just ridiculous. He never got punished for it because 'they didn't see it' or 'he's usually a good boy'.. but I ended up having to move to a different Primary School in the end and I actually made so many more friends there! And, it was a MUCH better school to say the least.
    I didn't get bullied again til I hit Secondary School.. the first year there was a bit of a breeze, didn't really know many of the new people or mingle with new people, just stuck to who and what I knew I suppose! But by the second year when the classes finally got streamed into what you're ability was, and having classes with people you'd never really spoken to or knew before, was when things got a bit rocky for me. Again, I had plenty of friends.. I was in no way 'popular' but I had a lovely group of friends, boys and girls, which I loved :) then I started to mingle with a few more girls and that's where it got messy. Maybe it's just me? Maybe I just wasn't one to get involved with gossip and rumours? These are questions I'll never know the answer to, but having gotten quite close to these few girls I found myself slowly slipping into situations where I ended up being the root of a rumour or a lie.. and practically becoming a real bitch, to be honest. Not starting rumours, but being the person that the rumour was always about.. something I'd done or said which wasn't true. Quite frankly, this wasn't me at all.. I'm not that type of girl.
    ...Then after months of this, I'd started to seperate myself from these girls as I knew they were clearly bad news. I tried and go back to how things were before.. but as you can imagine, this caused a whole new load of problems, arguments, harrassment over the internet, texts, back-stabbing plans.. you name it! It got so bad that my confidence had literally hit rock bottom. I felt like I had no one. I still had my circle of friends, but it didn't feel like it at all. I'd devoted so much time with these girls, trying to be 'grown up' like them and trying to act & look like them that I'd lost touch with who I actually was... I stopped going to school because it was just so unbearable waking up and thinking, have I really got to go and face people at school who now think I've done this, or done that.. because some silly girls have started yet another rumour.. And yet everyone remained their friends, thinking they were telling the truth, and there was me sitting at home crying my eyes out feeling like I just wasn't good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough blah blah blah.
    The police got involved as the internet harassment was getting way too OTT and that put an end to it all and they never looked me in the eye again. I wish it hadn't of gotten so bad, but it did and it made me a stronger person, because I know what it feels like to be the girl that everyone talks about in a bad way. The rumours to this day almost 2 1/2 years later still haunt me.. some people still think they're true. It takes one to know one though right?! It's taught me nothing but to really just not give two shits what anyone thinks! Just be yourself. Because there's no one else quite like you. Girls will always be bitchy. Fact. Even the nicest girls. But girls who live their life constantly being that way everyday are the girls that wont end up having a happy life. That's the best revenge of all you know, happiness.. nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good f'ing life! (sorry about the naughty word!)
    It really makes me realise just how much of a better, stronger person I am because of what they did to me. Although it wasn't nice, I've come out the other side, and those girls are still the same way. There is nothing they can do to me now, that's worse than what I've already been through. I actually to an extent feel sorry for them. The fact that their life consists of nothing but being 'popular' and revolving around rumours and gossip.
     I pray that no one ever has to go through things like this, but unfortunatley, it happens all the time.. that's just society now. I'm only 15, so it probably isn't going to get any easier any time soon.. but I know the tricks of the trade now, I get how it all works & I can use that to my advantage! Sorry this was a wordy post, but I really just wanted to get it out there!
Thankyou for reading it, if you're not already asleep by now ;)
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee! xo

You're my rock..

    Being 15, turning 16 in September, I feel like I'm at an age where I'm really starting to appreciate just how much support & love I have from my family :') not even family always, friends too of course.. I think it's fair to say that the last 2-3 years have been a bit of a rough ride for me but things are finally so much better now :) that's another story for another day though me thinks! ''It's always okay in the end, so if it's not okay, it's not the end''.. this quote always keeps me going :)
    It's no secret with me that my Mum wasn't around as much as she'd have like to have been as I was growing up, but in all honesty, it has had zero effect on our relationship now.. We're like sisters! Obviously it effected me in other ways like not having that 'Mummy-figure' to grow up around. I've lived with my Dad all my life with my brother who's now 12. Dad kind of took on the role of trying to be both Mummy and Daddy as much as he could. It was hard yeah, but it was all I ever knew. They split up when I was around 3 and a half, so I don't really remember them together except from the odd snippet of a memory and photos. It still upsets me now to this day and I wish they never split up and nothing happened, but it did and that's that. I've learnt to be a type of person that looks at the glass being half full and not half empty :) <3
    Anyway enough of my life story haha! This is a couple of pictures of me & my Mum, I absolutley love her to peices and even though she's made mistakes in the past.. she is the best Mummy in the whole world :D :')

   

Kreativ Blogger Award!

I was so happy when http://bellepearlxx.blogspot.com/ awarded me the Kreativ Blogger Award because it's not like I've been doing this long and it wasn't something I thought was really gonna take off! I am so appreciative of all the feedback I've had and lovely messages about my posts that it's inspired me to write more! I've spent the last 2-3 years of my life reading blogs but never plucked up the courage to actually start my own, but I'm so glad I did now!

Anyway there are a few rules involved, they are as follows:
1. Link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Complete the form below/answer the questions.
3. Award ten other bloggers, and let them know.
4. Share seven random thoughts about yourself.

The Questions:

1. Name your favourite songs:
- Woahh this is such a hard question haha! When you're such a music lover like me it's so hard to choose just one! Hmm, I guess if I had to pick, at the moment it would be 'Never too much' by Luther Vandross, simply because this is one of my boyfriends favourite songs and it reminds me of him! :D

2. Name your favourite dessert:
-  Now I'm not a fussy eater but when it comes to dessert I'm way more picky! I absolutley love Jelly & Strawberry Angel Delight! I'm sucha old school kid :-P

3. What ticks me off:
- When people lie about the most pathetic things, and don't even think about other peoples feelings or the consequences until they're caught out!

4. When I'm upset I:
- Usually I go really quiet and prefer not to talk to anyone, I always bottle it up! Which is NOT good! If you push me far enough I'll probably crack and tell you, but I hate telling someone I'm upset, I'm good at putting on a brave face...

5. What's your favourite pet:
- I only have one pet, and she is called Oreo :-P and she is a Mouse! :D She's called Oreo beacuse she has brown & white markings on her lol :) I had another one too called Cornflakes beacuse she was a beautiful gingery/orange colour but she died a few months back :(

6. Black or White:
-  White! There is nothing like a nice, freshly washed, white top/shirt. (Thought I'd add a cheeky fact, there is just something about boys in white tops in the summer, do not ask me why. It's an odd fetish I know.. but not just ANY boy of course.. preferably my boyfriend :-P hahaha!)

7. What's your biggest fear:
- Losing someone you I really care about :( but other than that.. SPIDERS. OH MY GOD, I CANNOT STAND THE THINGS!

8. What's your everyday attitude:
- Usually I'm quite positive and cheerful :) Everyone has their bad days of course, but I'm one of those people that will do anything to make sure I've got some purpose to my life :) I've been to a place where I felt like life was just not worth it at all.. and I don't plan on going back :)

9. What is perfection:
- Sam, my boyfriend, :) <3

10. Guilty Pleasure:
- My teddy bears! Yes, I am 15 and I still sleep with a teddy bear! I do not care what anyone thinks, they have so much sentimental value to me it's unreal! :')

Seven Random Facts:

1. I am absolutley rubbish at maths... it's like dyslexia but with numbers-.-

2. I want to work in/study Law :)

3. I'm allergic to: Cats, Hamsters, Guinea Pigs, Horses -.-

4. I have a really hard time learning to trust people..

5. I am not the most normal girl you could meet lol :D

6. I love Law & Order UK so much it's almost insane.

7. Finally I am excited to carry on blogging into the future!!

Blogs I awarded: (Could only award 3 since I'm not following a huge amount of people at the moment! And some who I wanted to award have already done it!)

http://atypicalenglishrose.blogspot.com
http://josielovesshoes.blogspot.com/
http://cremedeblogs.blogspot.com

This will be a year to remember...

Hey you guysssssss :P
Hope everyone had a lovely New Years! I went to a dress up party as Lara Croft LOL. People wore some awesome costumes! You never can beat a good dress up party. This year I made a promise to myself that I would try remain sober :P as last year was such a disaster, I was so drunk I missed the 12pm celebration tehehe *cheeky face* and spent New Years day on the sofa, hungover.. not fun at all -.- So this year I achieved that goal and was rather pleased with myself! I sound like such an alcoholic, but I'm really not :P I have Epilepsy so drinking a lot, regularly, wouldn't be a wise thing to do! Does anyone else have Epilepsy? What medication do you take & how do you get on with it? I'm starting a new one soon called 'Keppra', apparently it's not the nicest medication to be on, but after awhile your body gets used to it..? Bit apprehensive I must say.

Okkkk, now onto the actual point of this post.. on New Years Day which was Sunday, I got a bite around the back of my knee on my right leg.. at first I didn't think anything of it since it was just a small itchy bite and that was the end of it... until Monday... my leg continued to get bigger and bigger and it was hard.. like a bar of soap was in my leg! So gross -.- and by Wednesday morning, it was huge...



Can you see that mahoosive lump?



I could hardly walk, since it was on the back of my leg it was so painful to bend all the way in, and stretch all the way out, so putting my foot flat on the floor was agony! :( My Mum decided to take me to A&E early Thursday morning since I was in so much pain :'( The doc examined my leg and said it looks like I was going to have to have surgery to remove whatever was in there, but first I'd be sent for an Ultra Sound just to see if there was anything in there like infection, fluid etc. (Btw sorry if you're squeamish!) The Ultra Sound revealed nothing, and so they decided to admit me to a childrens ward where I'd have a strong, adult dose of antibiotics 4-6 times a day through a canula.. A canula is what they give you if you were to have an IV drip. My antibiotics were given through a syringe into the canula so they would go directly into my blood stream and ultimatley work faster!

    That's a Canula :) When I got to A&E my veins just didn't wanna know -.- they we're so uncooperative and the doc had to try two or three times to even get one in! I now have a lovely juicy bruise on my arm where he attempted the first time -.- but eventually he got one in my left hand (above) although, that only lasted until Thursday night and the Orthopaedic doc had to come and attempt to put another one in, except my veins were being stubborn yet again and just didnt pop up! I was very dehydrated after having a lot of sickness and so my veins were collapsing all the time. He tried twice in my right hand.. no joy. But in the end he got one in my right forearm (so painful here!)

    That isn't the end though... after 2-4 hours this one had gone again. What was happening was the vein was collapsing and the canula was slipping out of my vein, this was due to the amount of medicine being shoved in my vein every few hours and my body just didn't like it! So the doctor was pleased to see me again haha! He came and managed to get one in my forearm on my LEFT this time -.- this one lasted a good while, but it wasn't the last one!!!! By Saturday night it had gone again and the doctor had just about had enough and said if this one didn't last, he'd have to try in my foot!

    Anywayyyyy, I ended up with a good, big vein in my right forearm again but in a slightly different place and that one lasted me til I went home! Monday morning the consultant came around as usual and had a look at my leg, which hadn't seemed to improve except swelling had gone down considerably.. in the end he decided an operation would be my best bet and said I'd be going to theatre first thing Tuesday morning and there'd be a General Anesthetic blah blah blah. I was nervous, but more excited.. lolll is that weird!?
     So I had the op, and I have a small cut and one stitch.. and a mahoooosive bandage! It's Thursday 12th now and I'm going back to the hospital tomorrow to have a new bandage & the stitch out :) yayyy! Most people would say that a General Anesthetic made them feel nauseous, groggy, tired.. but I felt great!! I was so happy and giggly when I woke up and the op only took roughly 30mins! I was so pleased because the surgeon wrote out my discharge letter and I was going home the same day with oral antibiotics! So I was let out Tuesday evening and Mum took me for a Maccy's :P I was SO happy!! I wrote a nice Thankyou note for all the Nurses that looked after me on my ward because I was treated so lovely and I couldn't of had a better time there despite being in pain and throwing up all the time -.-!

I know that was like, a reallllly long, possibly boring post, but I hope some of you find it interesting! Spending the 2nd week of 2012 in hospital won't be forgotten! My boyfriend was so sweet and came to visit me!! It was a surprise and he bought me chocolates :') I didn't expect him to come but he did and it made my whole week tehehe :')!

Thankyou for reading birdiessss! Tarrrrrrraaaaa :)

It's far from over...

Ahhhh, Christmas is over now! :( ... but wait, there's New Year's coming up.. and a whole new year to look forward to! So in fact, it is far from over people! This is gonna be a bit of a picture heavy post since I thought it might be fun to show what I got for christmas! I am soo so grateful for absolutley everything, I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet right now! :') (Am not bragging in any way, if you don't want to see, don't read this post! :))
  I was actually debating on wether or not to even carry on posting, since I just don't think many people would read haha! But after getting really good feedback it's just made me wanna post even more, so thankyou! :P
  So, heres what I got! :D...

Okay, so there's 2 OPI Nail Polishes.. the one on the left is called 'DIVINE SWINE' and the one on the right is called 'IT'S MY YEAR' :)

The there are 6 Models Own Nail ones, from Left to Right - 'Purple Blue Beetlejuice'..'Emerald Black Beetlejuice'..'Golden Green Beetlejuice'..'Aqua Violet Beetlejuice'..'Pink Brown Beetlejuice' and lastly 'Disco Mix'
They are all so beautiful! 

I love Banksy :)

The chocolate and Lacoste perfume is from my boyfriend, isn't he a cutie?! :') I am so happy with everything I got !!! I didn't post everything, left out some bits and bobs that you probably don't need to see tehehe :)
Hope everyone had an awesome christmas and Santa brought you everything you wanted!

Happy New Year too! :D

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)

The last Saturday before Christmas!

Yaaaayyyyyyy! I am so excited for Christmas! I'm like a 5 year old every year it's crazy :P My Dad has his own business so every year he throws a christmas party at a restraunt and so I went along as when it comes to food, I cannot say no... It was absolutley FREEZING though. I wore a skirt.. bad move Lisa -_-  (obviously I wore tights, I am not THAT silly) Dis is what ma face look like 2nyt ennit..

I really should go and check my phone since I've neglected it tonight, yes, I am one of those people who are addicted to their blackberrys. Do not stereotype me :P I'm so excited for tomorrow, seeing my boyfriend yippeeeeee! I have a feeling this will be the best christmas I've had for years, everything in my life is just perfect right now :) and to top it all off I'm actually going to a NYE party this year! A dress up party to be precise ;) I'm going as Lara Croft from Tomb Raider cos' I wanted to do something different :D got leg holsters with guns and everything ;) going all outtttt! Am so gonna do a post about that too yaayyyyyyyyy :D
*Phone goes off, again*
Oops.. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Alright, so...

I'm Lisa. If you hadn't already figured that out... I have no idea why I wanted to start a 'blog' ^.^ but sometimes I get bored, and I like to write stuff. I'm not gonna lie, I hate writing.. like pen & paper, so doing it like this is waaaay easier. I'm not really bothered if no one reads this. D'oh..
Anywaysssss, I can honestly say, I am not the most normal girl :P in fact, I'm probably insanely strange to most people but arrrrr weeeelll. Um, so the plan is to write about anything I want to :) I have like.. 3 diaries -.- okay, that's an exaggeration but yeah, I just write as I think :)
Just in case you didn't know what I look like, not that you're probably bothered, but this is me...

Alright so I guess I should talk about stuff I like to do, etc. Wellllllll, I love to play guitar, and I love to sing.. NO I DO NOT WANT TO BE A MUSICIAN/SINGER AND BE FAMOUS.. just to get that out there tehehe. Errrrrm, I am obsessed with Giraffes, anything to do with Giraffes, I think they are the most beautiful creatures on the planet :') I believe the best time spent in my life atm, is the time spent with my family :)
I have a bestfriend called Tamsin.. she is also abnormal like me :') and just as it happens, we have a YouTube! Link - http://www.youtube.com/user/12LisaOwen?feature=guide  
It speaks for itself :)
My fave thing to eat is Nutella, OMG. I cannot get enough :P Except.. this will probably change in like a months time because I love food :') Fave Music, umm, don't have a specific fave, I love all sorts. From Bon Jovi to Jessie J and ACDC to JLS.. well, no, I tell a lie. I don't particularly love JLS.. -.- but I will listen :)
Rahhhhhhhhhhh
Kay, I'm going now...